Joel: "I can't stand buying clothes and then losing weight! Then all my clothes are baggy, and I have to go buy new ones. Then I gain weight again, and my clothes get tight, and I have to go buy clothes all over again!"

Dad: "So, what's the answer?"

Joel: "...Don't wear clothes!"

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I, for one, am glad to have seen something of a musical resurgence from a band called MercyMe. They have broken their own mold a little bit and gotten into some musical styles that they've not explored before. It's made them a richer, more interesting listen, and the lyrics above are from a song that spoke to me in a new way this weekend.

It's got all of those famous break-up cliches in it, but spun in a whole new way: breaking up with yourself. It occurs to me that my struggles are made less heavy when I don't spend all the time in the world focusing on myself in all of my pain and strife. Rather, I figure out how to reach out to someone, make someone else's day. That takes the focus off of my own heart, and puts it on someone else's heart.

Granted, it doesn't make pain in our lives simply go away, but we can take comfort in being pleasantly "distracted" from ourselves so that we can tend to the others the Lord has put in our path today.

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It was a really rough week, but without a big weight gain. I'll count myself fortunate on that circumstance. I normally try not to weigh myself on off-days, but I do like to step on the scale sometimes after a long run, to see what I weigh right after I've sweated off some water weight. Gives me a little mental boost. In that vein: after my 4-miler yesterday, I stepped onto a scale that read 198 lbs. It was my first dip below 200 in this whole wild ride. So, even though my regular weight is still a little ways up there above 200, I am confident that I'll eventually see sub-200 numbers at times other than after a long run.

And yet...

...it still got done.

Times on these runs ranged from 28:35 (Props to my boy Brandon for pushing the pace on Saturday...) to 32:00. Tuesday was tempo, at 10-8:30-10-12 pace. The mileage is going up. It's time. Monday weigh-in was disappointing (207, +4), and I'm starting to get frustrated. I'm doing at least 3 miles and 30 minutes at each run from here forward all the way to May. My endurance is fine, and this will mean 12 miles per week on average. I'll be changing up my food intake and increasing my water consumption (as always) in the next couple of weeks as well, to try to offset the fluctuating weight. I've gotta turn this boat around! I'm tired of carrying this weight!

Stuck!

When I was doing this tempo run, I did something I don't often do: I held back. I was originally going to go a mile at 8:30 pace, but it was already hurting at the 1-mile mark to be going at 10:00 pace, since I hadn't been as consistent with my workouts in the prior week and a half. So I stayed at 10:00 for an extra 1/2 mile, and made myself do 1/2 mile of 8:30 pace anyway later in the run. Boy, did it hurt!

It occurs to me that I'm going to have to make it hurt a little more often to get back the conditioning and body shape that I so desperately desire. It's like that with all of life, though, isn't it? Our bodies are just a brilliant illustration: if we want to get stronger, we have to make it hurt for a while. Our muscles get sore after a hard workout because they're broken down. But they are extraordinary in that when they rebuild, they become stronger than they were before they were broken.

So it is with our lives as well. Sometimes we need to be broken to be built up stronger. Sometimes the things that are the most important for us to learn can only be taught to us in the context of struggle. Romans 5:3-4 reads: "...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." I'll claim that promise for my running, and for my life.

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I'm afraid I'm going to have to just aim at a weekly post here on the blog for a while. It's a busier season than ever in my life, but I'll continue to post workouts, and I'll keep working my way forward!